An Excerpt from A Past Love

Surfing my old notebooks:
[I remember who it was for.]

The way I see us:
You are my breath of fresh air,
and I am taking the time to breathe you in.
I wonder where you've been through this journey/
on this path to finding myself.
Then I close my eyes and I can picture us in the future.
You are one of the many reasons I wake up in the morning and push myself,
loving you on a level that is higher than that of a normal state.
Do you think that anything can surpass the amount of love I have to offer you?
Are you ready?
You are a beautiful person, inside, outside, sideways, backwards, forwards...
The things you tell me, and the way I feel when you say them is different than anyway I've ever felt when told that before.
Your sincerity weakens me and it makes it hard for me to catch my breath, I begin to shake as the chills run down my spine...
When I lay down @ night or should I say early morning after completing a conversation with you,
I stare out into space and I am in limbo.
I find myself spinning and I don't know whether or not I'm coming or going.
I am incomplete, I am lonely and I am lost.
When I finally close my eyes visions of you and I engulf the capacity of my thoughts.
I can feel you touching me, I can hear your voice in my ear...I want to release all my stress and let go of all my inhibitions with you...Do you think you are ready? Can you feel me...can you taste me...am I as sweet as you expected me to be...are you turned on...Is my touch
as soft as you expected it to be? Do I satisfy you on a level that surpasses normal? I can feel you and we fit perfect...
I can feel your fingers exploring me...making me shake uncontrollably...with moans that turn into screams...My moans become
in sync with the music playing in the background of our love-making..."ahh, ohh, ohh"...picture that...As we lie there naked drenched in each other's sweat...
I'll whisper that I love you one more time...and I'll fall asleep in your arms with a smile on my face.
Then we will repeat these actions over and over until we can no longer...
I can see us together in the future...
We are going to set an example for how a relationship should be...You are my best friend as well as my lover...
If nothing else is going right in my life...You are the one thing that is...People come into your life for a reason, hopefully the reason we came into each other's is to teach us what something real felt like...

.Closed My Eyes.

.this was written a while ago, during a point where I felt like I had no one since i'm back to feeling that way i though i'd post it.


I closed my eyes that night and prayed...and HE answered me, the content of my prayers consisted of a multitude of things but one, the one most humans want is someone to love them. Unconditionally, the real me...the one I'd spend my life with...My better half...The one who shows me off to everyone, whether or not I'm dress-to-kill or if I have no make-up and sweats on. My name is spoken and a smile creeps upon their face. With me they are content and I am happy and I shall never get bored because the adventures on our itinerary sends us on journeys that are endless. Together we climb the mountains in a foreign land, and we watch the sunset on a beach with black sands and they hold my hand and lead the way. If she dragged me to the highest peak I shall follow because she is with me... Trust is never an issue and accusations never rear their ugly heads. Faith shall be our own lie - detector and the truth constantly comes to light. In the game of our lives there is no way we can lose. And if we shall ever part it will be for good reason, and we will leave knowing that we loved each other and it was REAL. She will always be one of my great loves...the one who got me to commit...FINALLY.